Some parents think they double as coaches, but you make the rules.
Have you ever corrected a tumbler, saying something like, “Keep your legs straight and knees together,” only to hear the tumbler’s father repeat it behind you? Introducing: the Unofficial Assistant Coach, the parent who’s compelled to contribute to their child’s coaching, whether you’ve asked them to or not.
The Unofficial Assistant Coach is often a dad rather than a mom, because he has the opportunity to shout athletic phrases. Some men feel out of their comfort zones spouting advice on makeup, curling irons or spirit fingers, but if there’s a coaching critique taking place within earshot, it’s easy to mimic key words or phrases without sounding too far from wrong.
The Unofficial Assistant Coach Game Show
Pick one from each column and make a phrase that sounds like something the coach would say, then shout it out to show your daughter that you know what you’re talking about.
A. B. C.
Set Basket Toss Lower
Wrap Tuck Tighter
Snap Heel Stretch Pointed
Pivot Arabian Arched
Rotate Handspring Higher
The Unofficial Assistant Coach may be well-meaning, but he can also be controlling, so here are four ways to keep this parent from interfering with practices while being civil about it.
Set boundaries. Restricting parent access to the floor is a simple way to avoid potential distractions for the kids and your staff—if your facility design permits it. Sometimes the actual distance can be the solution. I once had a youth tumbling class where the parents seemed to think their children needed some extra encouragement. Each time a parent spoke during the class, I moved the group over a panel. Eventually we were on the far side of the floor. The parents figured out that they needed to stay quiet if they wanted to observe class without binoculars.
At gyms without a walled-off parent observation area, I’ve seen programs install a sliding curtain to draw across the parent seating area. Some coaches will take folding panel mats and stand them up on edge to form a zigzag wall as a barrier. Others who’ve lost all patience have closed practices, admitting parents only during the last five minutes of practice. Enrolling a child in a cheer program to learn skills and train for competition entitles her to a spot on the team. A parent’s team fees don’t include free, live entertainment, and certainly not an interactive venue.
Put it in writing. If you’re unable to alter your physical environment to shield your athletes from intrusive parent opinions, create a parent contract outlining a code of conduct that each parent must sign before their child’s training begins. Part of the contract needs to include policies regarding parent participation during practices and events, with reinforcing statements like: “The coach is the boss,” and “Your child is in this program because you trust the coaches, so let them do their job.”
If you need to pull out such an agreement and remind parents that they agreed to and signed the document, which was done to maintain accountability, it’s not being picky or cranky. You have a right to protect your business and provide the best possible environment for your athletes to train.
Play the lawyer card. Any time you use the terms liability, safety, risk or contributory negligence in a conversation with parents, you’re playing the lawyer card. When you go to get your car’s oil changed, there’s probably a sign that says, “Due to insurance regulations, customers are not permitted past this point.” Why not in your gym?
“Mrs. Jones, I understand that you want your daughter to be successful—we all do—but when you shout instructions during tumbling class, you could distract other athletes. Some of them could be upside-down at the time. Are you willing to accept the legal and financial responsibility for someone else’s medical expenses should an accident happen as a result of your inability to comply with our safety rules?” Is this a scare tactic to bend them into submission? Perhaps, but the possibility of injuries and medical bills due to distractions is a valid one. Sometimes the words rule and law are interchangeable, so don’t forget about the golden rule: Would this parent want some other person shouting unwanted advice, distracting his own daughter during the workout?
Put them to work elsewhere. One reason parents might be inclined to shout helpful hints is that they have the free time to do so. Create opportunities for the Unofficial Assistant to contribute in other ways. Duties might include logging attendance, taking pictures for scrapbooks, counting jumps, sit-ups or pushups, running a stopwatch and charting times for sprints and rope climbing, stuffing envelopes for fundraisers, etc. This way, the Unofficial Assistant Coach gets to participate and contribute to the cause for every cheerleader, not just his own.
By: Brian Payne
Comments are closed.